mother, i

Mother's day - my first on the celebrated-side of the fence - and I'm amazed just how poignant.
(They like us, really really do - or today they make a point to mention it, with flowers.)

I also attended the baptism of a beautiful baby-friend (Heidi) and so happened to be in church (!) on mother's day. Fortuitous. Rus was home with Wyeth (who's had a run of fussy days as we await tooth 2) and so had some quiet pew-moments of ordered peace, and god-sanctioned praise and truly felt the guts of the holiday.

And, because I was tired and the minister wasn't above the emotion of it all - he was baptizing babies for god's sake - I had a little cry for my mom (lost to ALS in 2002), my sister (lost in childbirth 4 years ago, mom-in-making) and for all moms - also lost or uncelebrated and for the celebrated ones too, we all deserve.

Could I have know 17 months ago (Wyeth now 10 months so 10 + 9) what this would give/take/entail/provide?



Yee gods no.

But it's a daily miracle and MOTHERING - the daily as well as the extraordinary of it - should be an all-caps verb.

Here's a note from my diary of Feb 18 2009 - having just found out Wyeth (just "baby" then) was/is a boy):

Finally, 37 years-in and I hand over the reins.
Miracle of universally-sanctioned growth, of ownership with the strangest price and extraordinary in the mostly-till-now ordinary of my body, interloper in dialogue of me.
A being, or state, so far beyond mere body-hood, so much more and intrinsically divine.
I will have a boy.

Happy Mother's Day all.